Crazy things life can bring. How fast emotions can over take you, and then as a light... switch on or off.
I found a great job up near NYC. Great opportunity, and pay, and bla bla bla. I thought it could be the one, but then the more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn't going to be my bag. I wasn't ready at 20 to make that type of career move. Wasn't ready to make a move all over again. My heart wasn't in it, my gut was wrenching everytime I thought about it. I was teetering for a day or two, and it was make or break on one thing, and that one thing didn't happen. So I took it as a sign and decided it wasn't it. I wasn't ready to move 4 and half hours away from my family again. I wasn't ready to leave home, and I wasn't ready to give up everything for a job, a career move as one would call it. On top of that a fight with the gf. We've only ever had two fights, and both have been about me moving. It sucks, and I know I need to stand my ground. To let myself feel the way I want to feel, but god damn.. women turn on those tears and you want to give them everything and anything just so they will stop and feel better. I think all that broke me. The hopes being so high for life, being dashed by no one but myself. I was on a rollarcoaster that lost it's tracks, and now I'm not sure what is up or what is down. I havent been broken in awhile. Not like this. Normally I wake up the next morning and all is well. Now I am a zombie. I worked my normal shift, drove home, and now I'm here. I'm an emotional wrecking ball right now.
I gave me away
I could have knocked off the evening
But I was lonelily looking for someone to hold
In a way I lost all I believed in
And I never found myself so low
And you let me down
You could've called if you'd needed
But you lonelily got yourself locked in instead
I found a great job up near NYC. Great opportunity, and pay, and bla bla bla. I thought it could be the one, but then the more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn't going to be my bag. I wasn't ready at 20 to make that type of career move. Wasn't ready to make a move all over again. My heart wasn't in it, my gut was wrenching everytime I thought about it. I was teetering for a day or two, and it was make or break on one thing, and that one thing didn't happen. So I took it as a sign and decided it wasn't it. I wasn't ready to move 4 and half hours away from my family again. I wasn't ready to leave home, and I wasn't ready to give up everything for a job, a career move as one would call it. On top of that a fight with the gf. We've only ever had two fights, and both have been about me moving. It sucks, and I know I need to stand my ground. To let myself feel the way I want to feel, but god damn.. women turn on those tears and you want to give them everything and anything just so they will stop and feel better. I think all that broke me. The hopes being so high for life, being dashed by no one but myself. I was on a rollarcoaster that lost it's tracks, and now I'm not sure what is up or what is down. I havent been broken in awhile. Not like this. Normally I wake up the next morning and all is well. Now I am a zombie. I worked my normal shift, drove home, and now I'm here. I'm an emotional wrecking ball right now.
I gave me away
I could have knocked off the evening
But I was lonelily looking for someone to hold
In a way I lost all I believed in
And I never found myself so low
And you let me down
You could've called if you'd needed
But you lonelily got yourself locked in instead
