When Things Go Bad... They are BAD
I love my gf. Yes, if you know me at all you know how much I would give up for her, and how strongly I feel for her. We basically never fight, which is a breath of fresh air compared to my last relationship. She makes me smile non-stop when I'm 3 hours from her. She writes me everyday emails that make me laugh and cry all at the same time, daily.
She's what I've always wanted.
Now, saying all that. It may be because I know our love is it, that in the end, if the end is in a year, or in 15, she is what I want, and where I will end up. I never fully understood how people could say that until I met her. That you don't need to worry about the day to day worries that come with a relationship, because this is it.
Maybe because this is it that I'm thinking about this thought. The thought of if Boston becomes reality, I will need to take a break. A break from the gf, a break from friends, and a break from everything that isn't work. Well to put it simply I am preparing myself, because I will simply become a raging workaholic. I'm ok with all this. I don't know why. It's not bothering me terribly, it bothers me to think of not having a partner in crime, or endless emails during the day from her. The thought isn't digging a hole in my heart, which is odd. Maybe our love is stronger than that, kind of a sort of brick wall to block out all the other pains. Who knows.
Maybe this is me simply building walls because I know this is it, and me making excuses for all the walls. Either way I know it will suck.
